Changing People.

People aren’t perfect, that’s for certain. It’s strange that sometimes we love the bad things about our friends just as much as we love the positives. I can only spend 4 hours with my best friend before I go mentally insane. Yes! He’s that annoying. But it just wouldn’t be right if he was any different. What I’m trying to say is that everybody is different, everybody has faults but in the end that’s kind of what makes a person who they are. Unfortunately I have found myself in quite a predicament. Occasionally people have characteristics that we just can’t fall in love with. It doesn’t matter how hard we try. When I notice these unlovable characteristics in a person I would normally try to change them. Recently I have been constantly asking myself whether it is morally correct to attempt to change a person in any way.

Now I’ve had numerous wayward friends in the past, I tried to change them all. Ofcourse I wasn’t looking to make them somebody else, in fact I was certain they had no idea who they were and what they wanted. I wanted to help them find themselves. Unfortunately it has never worked. In my experience the person just pretends they’ve listened to what you’ve said or they just ignore you completely. If you keep trying the whole friendship just falls apart and you haven’t achieved anything. People are who they are because of what has happened to them. So therefore how is somebody else supposed to change a person for the better? Perhaps one can only really change by experiencing life themselves.

And now I have encountered yet another another wayward friend. This time I don’t know what to do. What gives me the right to interfere in anothers affairs? I wonder why we even think it’s acceptable for us to change another in the first place. Is it because in reality we’re all selfish and want everybody to think and act how we think they should ? Or is it because we genuinely care about others? Maybe it’s different for everybody but in the end we have all tried to change people at one point or another. I have come to the conclusion that the ethics of changing another differ depending on the circumstance.

For example, trying to make your gay friend straight is clearly wrong. He surely knows that half the world thinks he should like girls. It would be rather mean to remind him again, he has made his decision and he most likely wants your support. However, lets say that somebody you love goes out and takes a fair few drugs every night. Not only is this affecting his emotional well-being but it also entails physical risks. In this circumstance is it acceptable to try and help the person? even if you try to change them in the process? I stress to you, everybody is different. Do not try and change people because you do not approve of their beliefs. Remember that people are entitled to opinions and free thought. However, If somebody you love needs help, I think you should do your best to aid them. I suppose that occasionally it’s possible that people just don’t know what’s best for them.

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~ by John on June 27, 2009.

One Response to “Changing People.”

  1. Omg john wow. Yeah I see what u mean, it’s hard but not everything can be changed. We can’t change somethings about people it’s just the way it is….and i agree about the whole loving the bad things just as much as loving the good things…idk why but I think it just makes them who they are, in the end a good friend

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